Kid crying looking at grave’
Me: what’s wrong?
Kid: No one came to my funeral
Me: Confused screaming starts as megalovania starts
2 Likes
lol i said it
never break someone’s heart, they only have one of them. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them
2 Likes
what’s yellow and can’t swim?
I dunno
a bus that’s full of children
3 Likes
-_- didn’t expect that
1 Like
I’ve heard that one before
oh
Me: ‘hears doll start sing’
Also my dignity: Ight, I’ma head out
2 Likes
doctor: I have good news and bad news
Patient: Give me the good news first
Doctor: I got your test results back and you only have 2 days to live
Patient: That’s the good news? Whats the bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to contact you for 2 days
4 Likes
My gf: can we break up?
Me: ‘brings out cleaver’
Me: ok honey, if you say so
4 Likes
when does a joke become a dad joke?
when it never comes back
i’ve seen that one
hi
hi
hi
feels like something is wrong wrong wrong wrong